The Challenges of Commitment
Out with the old and in with the new. That’s what people say, right? Whether you celebrate the New Year or not, there comes with it a sense for change and hopeful new starts. Gym memberships rise at the start of a new year with good intentions for creating healthy bodies and lifestyles. We promise our family and friends that we will make a better effort to stay in touch throughout the next twelve months instead of waiting for the holiday season to roll around. Some of us enroll in classes or practice new rituals of inner peace. These are all good things but let’s be honest, how long does it last? How committed are we to putting in the work to make it a habit and not just a short-lived event? There’s no judgment here. I think we can all agree that we see our own patterns of behavior dwindle as life gets in the way of the time and energy it takes to make our best intentions happen. This is one reason I have never been a fan of New Year’s resolutions because my resolve typically dissolves with the passage of time, and then I feel like an epic failure. Seriously, how hard is it to take better care of myself or employ strategies to keep myself on task throughout the year? Apparently, it’s a challenge not only for me but for many of us especially if you are the nurturing, caregiver type person. By the time we get done taking care of everyone else and performing daily tasks, our energy level has been exhausted.
A Different Approach: Setting Intentions
Is there a solution? Perhaps there is, but I doubt it’s a one-size-fits-all remedy. I have blogged about setting intentions in the past. It feels a little less rigid than a resolution. It gives us some wiggle room to edit and revise as we go along. And if we don’t meet our goal, the fall from grace doesn’t stop us dead in our own tracks. We can switch gears and keep moving forward with the intention to try another strategy. Okay, so now that we’ve created a cushion for ourselves what’s next?
Self-Reflecting Questions: Mapping Happiness
This is where a little bit of work and a whole lot of reflection comes into play. Think of these questions as creating your own map of happiness.
1. What did I accomplish or experience last year that made me feel good about myself and my direction in life?
2. Where did I fall short or find myself being stagnant and how did that make me feel?
3. Where do I see myself at this time next year and what will that look and feel like to me?
The Positive Moments List: Finding Joy
Everyone’s answers will vary as they should, so don’t compare yourself to others. This is for you and you alone. The moments in your past that brought you joy or satisfaction are the ones that align you with your greatest good. Let me clarify that statement by assuming our joy and satisfaction doesn’t come at the expense of another person. These moments and feelings are the keys to sustaining your momentum in the future, so you can manifest that resolution or intention. Now make a list of all the those things that filled your heart, mind, and soul with good feelings. You determine what good means to you. Maybe it was the excitement you felt when you challenged yourself out of your comfort zone and you were rewarded for it. It could be a leap of faith that paid off in your favor. Perhaps it was something that engaged your attention and you lost all track of time. Or maybe it was something more quiet and subtle that brought you peace and comfort. This is the easy list because it gives us an opportunity to visit a feel-good memory.
The Negative Moments List: Lessons in Discomfort
Now make a list of the things that filled your heart, mind, and soul with bad feelings. Again, you determine what bad is to you. Is it feeling hurt or angry? Is it feeling vulnerable, exposed, or abused? Could it be feelings of frustration or betrayal? These are the feelings that don’t align with your greatest good. These are the feelings that steal your inner peace and ability to focus on living your best life. It may be hard to revisit the more painful moments you’ve experienced the past year or so, but they will also be your greatest teacher. Before we can understand what we do want, we first have to recognize what we don’t want. Some examples may include not wanting to stay at a job that sucks the life out of you. Maybe it’s not wanting to stay in an unhealthy relationship even though you still care for that other person. Perhaps it’s not wanting to pretend to be someone you aren’t just to make someone else happy. Ask yourself the hard questions. You want this list to be as raw and honest as possible. Then ask yourself what part you played it. Did I allow it? Did I get something else out of it? Did I learn something about myself that can help me in the future?
Fear as a Common Thread: Confronting and Overcoming
I am willing to bet that fear is going to be a common thread here. Fear hinders our progress in all areas of our life. It keeps us in a pseudo comfort zone allowing us to believe that it’s where we are supposed to be. Fear and uncertainty propels us in a constant downward spiral and the longer the fear exists, the harder it is to overcome it. Fear is debilitating and messes with our ability to focus, rationalize, and make good decisions. Fear can prevent you from living a good life. Fear can destroy your well-being. And in some cases, fear can kill you. When you muster the courage to confront your fears, you empower yourself with the resolve to conquer them.
A Shift Towards Self-Discovery: Redefining Goals
Maybe 2024 shouldn’t be about making resolutions. Why not embark on a path of self-discovery instead? We all get so entangled with the complexities and responsibilities of life that we forget who we are. We neglect our needs. We suppress our desires because there’s not enough time or money. We live lives without passion and purpose and function on auto-pilot day in and day out. Life is uncertain. Life is scary especially the world we live in right now. But we possess the power to take better care of ourselves and live a life that is meaningful and authentic. Keep the faith. Ask for guidance from above. Say your prayers or affirmations and let the Universe help you rediscover the beautiful you that God intended you be. When you begin to align your intentions with core values, you are able to foster a sense of purpose and authenticity in your decision-making process, which will feel good to you. By stepping into 2024 with the goal of being true to yourself, you are giving yourself the permission and determination to see it through all year.
