I’d like to believe that I am a spiritually evolving being striving to make the best of my earthly existence. I pray each morning upon waking and pray every night before I drift off to sleep. I talk to God and the angels throughout the course of my day so many times that I’ve got them on energetic speed dial. I meditate to ground my restless energy and lift my negative thoughts. I balance my chakras with positive intentions and glean wisdom and guidance from oracle and tarot cards. I try to accept the lessons life often dumps in my lap with a vengeance and force seemingly greater than my soul can tolerate in hopes I can muster greater wisdom, compassion, and tolerance when I’ve reached the other end of it. I also help and coach others who wish to do the same. Still, I struggle. Battling my own demons of prejudice, pride, and personality is not a pleasant experience especially when my soul is hurting and longing for peace.
So Many Questions
Does simply “being” make us worthy and valued or does it need to be earned? Are we all deserving of love and joy or does it need to be sowed and cultivated with our own sweat and tears? What if I fail to honor others while trying to protect myself? Who determines the consequences of rectifying these misgivings? I know what God or Source says about this, but in the real world it’s not that easy.
What happens to my karmic map when I hurt someone? It is never my intention to hurt anyone but it happens because we are all different. Do I deserve to be punished, forgiven, or both? What happens when someone hurts me? Am I strong enough to forgive? Have I learned enough about the law of attraction to not dwell on the pain it caused me and instead focus on the potential it has to expand my level of wisdom and compassion? Do circumstances dictate the degree of sin or do they possess the same energetic footprint? Is saying you’re sorry enough? Is accepting the apology fueling empowerment? And who does it empower? The guilty, innocent, or both? I dare say that these are all loaded questions and could be debated every which way from Sunday depending on who engages in the dialogue.
Seeds of Redemption
I’ve concluded that forgiveness is not a one and done deal. You can’t expect your apology to erase your actions any more than you can accept an apology and then release it from your awareness. Both giving and accepting forgiveness is the first step toward recovery and wholeness. It’s really just a seed that’s planted in the depth of redemption. It cannot and will not grow into healing without love and light. To neglect an apology once manifested surely means it will wither and rot before it can grow into hope and renewal. Both require a genuine effort and desire to cultivate something better in its place. It takes time to move through the seasons of forgiveness, and I know that I have far more to weather before my earthly soul shows signs of real growth.
What’s Love Got to do With It?
I don’t know of any tried and true methods that guarantee the success of forgiveness. All I know is that it’s a step in the right direction whether you or someone is deserving or not. I realize that I can’t change the past, but I can change how I react to it now and in the future. We are humans so feelings are part of the process. It’s okay to feel your emotions if you give yourself enough time to recognize where they are coming from and why. What isn’t okay is making critical decisions before you have allowed yourself the time to process these emotions. So instead of coming from a place of hurt and anger, try coming from a place of love and empathy. If intentions are pure of heart, pray that the outcome of forgiveness will be blessed, balanced, and bountiful regardless of which side of this equation you are on.