Ch…Ch…Changes
Yep, I bet this reminds you of David Bowie’s song from 1971, doesn’t it? I did quick research of the intended meaning of this song, and it essentially represents his evolution as an artist and becoming a father. Change is part of life, and we all experience it as one of the constants in our lifetime. September has proved to be no exception in that it has brought me out of my comfort zone a bit. My friend makes candles and sells them at craft fairs. She suggested that I join her and try selling my own products. I typically veer away from things like this for a variety of reasons, which include the amount of time, money, and work that goes into preparing for it and the commitment it takes to peddle your goods all day. I’m not a big fan, but she offered me a seat at her table, so I said, “Why not give it a go!”
Needless to say, I have been working my butt off this month researching recipes, experimenting and tweaking recipes, and shopping for ingredients and craft fair paraphernalia. With such limited time to invest in blog ideas, I reached out to my friends on my FB page and asked for suggestions. A soulful friend suggested writing about that the changing seasons with fall knocking on our door. Hmm, not a bad idea but it needed some depth. I rarely take things at face value because there is always more lurking beneath the obvious. I dig deep and look for patterns of behavior, meanings and purpose, and the “why” it presents.
Change is Scary
Change: what does this word or concept mean to me? First of all, change on any terms can be downright scary even if the change is welcomed or positive. Humans are creatures of habit. When anything disturbs our routines, mindsets, or security, we tend to resist. But why? The easy answer to that is because it makes us uncomfortable. It requires us to surrender our need for control, let go, and allow. I don’t know about you, but that incites the caged animal feeling I get when I am not in the driver’s seat. On a psychological level, it’s suggested that panicky feeling comes as a trauma response from your past. I tend to agree, but that is another layer of depth I can’t uncover right now.
The exact definition of change is to make (someone or something) different; alter or modify. We can all agree on that, right? Autumn begins on September 23 this year. We don’t need a calendar to tell us that though. The leaves or falling or changing colors. The days are getting shorter, and the nights are getting chilly. I am currently typing this while I am wrapped up in my bathrobe because I am already cold. This is one example of change that I do not enjoy! In addition, we have reaped the harvest from our gardens as they quickly fade back into dormancy. Last but not least is a festive attempt to adorn our porches with the pumpkins, cornstalks, and vibrant shows of Chrysanthemums in yellow, orange, and burgundy bursts. The air smells earthy, feels crisp, and the hustle and bustle of life returns as we ready ourselves for the upcoming holidays. For many people, autumn is the most wonderful time of the year because it offers the best parts of Mother Nature each day with a little bit of this and a little bit of that all wrapped up in a brilliant show of color and celebrations.
As the Season Changes
The changing of seasons is cyclical in nature. We have come to expect it, so many of us embrace it with a sense of familiarity. Fall is a special time of year, and one that reminds me to reflect on the experiences and people who have contributed to the changes within me. Not all these changes have been welcomed or pleasant. In truth, the last year has been quite tumultuous in both my personal and professional life. Yet, I can honestly say that what felt horrible in the moment, has transformed parts of my life for the better. In hindsight, I clung onto a job for years even though it wasn’t good for me because the fear of the unknown made that change seem potentially worse than what I was experiencing. When push came to shove, I released that fear and that’s when the magic occurred. The perfect opportunity fell into my lap, and I am now working at a job that not only suits my needs but feels right for me. I wish I could say that my personal life has been as fulfilling but that would be lie. It’s not all bad. Some of my relationships continue to evolve and become stronger while others have faltered, become stagnant, or dissolved altogether. They say relationships (all kinds) come and go. Sadly, most relationships aren’t meant to last forever. Instead, they serve to teach us a lesson and/or create experiences that serve a specific purpose. I don’t like good-byes. I never have, and I never will. Even the worst relationship experiences of my life have left traces of important moments and fond memories. Either I changed, they changed, or we were no longer good for each other. I guess the saving grace on those relationships is that one of us recognized it and did something to make that change happen even if that “person” was God. Even so, I still don’t believe that relationships are disposable, which is why I crack open a window even after a door has been closed. Time and circumstances change, people change, and even change itself changes or morphs into something worthy of redemption or reflection.
Worthy of Change
I think the worthiest part of change is recognizing the part you play in it. We can’t control everything that happens to us, and we certainly can’t change anyone either unless they are willing to change themselves. We can’t change their perspectives or their version of the truth. We can’t change their reactions, behavior, or choices they make. However, we can change how we respond them. We can choose to accept that life doesn’t always go as we had hoped. We can choose how to react when these changes disrupt our stability and serenity. We can choose to embrace the changes that make us feel uncomfortable because these are the moments that help us evolve into better versions of ourselves. When we choose to reflect more with an open heart and mind and react with less anger and rigidity, we can potentially alter how change affects us. Imagine that!